true-moments

2011-03-04T11:50:00.003+08:00

On medical leave for 2 days gave me time to reflect and think about my life and most importantly rest my body and mind. Looking back at the past months when i had my daily schedule packed like crazy, i stop and wonder what have i done? Work/family/friends/school. repeat work/family/friends and school. ha ha. what a joke isn't it. i used to laugh at people around me who have this same routine everyday but am i becoming on of them i wondered. Then i chance upon a note that i took down during one of Lama's teachings. "What makes a Dharma practioner different from a normal person?" Dhara practioners incorporate Dharma in their lives. We do not need to allocate time to practice Dharma because when we have Dharma in our heart, everything we do are on the basis of helping others and there you are, you are practising Dharma!

I reflected and looked into myself. Have i incorporated Dharma into my life?

The answer is Yes and No.

Yes is that i have the awareness that everything i do each day is on the basis of kindness and compassion and to benefit and not harm sentient beings.

No is that why do i need to be aware of this awareness before doing each thing. If my mind and heart was stronger and had more practise, this awareness will also be incorporated in my mind/heart and need not be reminded to myself.

haha whole crap of nonsense but been some time since i last wrote nonsense on the walls of the corners of my heart.

Ciao to all ya!

Gyatso-la

2010-04-28T15:37:00.002+08:00

当一个人不惜一切的付出时，代表了他/她找到真爱。

In life there are many things that are not within our control.. My Guru once said before: " The wildest organ that you can tame in your body is not the mind but the heart." Because you can stop your mind from not thinking some things but you are not able to stop or freeze your heart to feel something.. That's why the hardest thing to tame is the heart.. We are not able to tell the heart what to feel and sometimes we do not even know why we feel this way..

Someone once asked me.. "what does it feel like to be loved??"

Sounds like some lines from some old love movies but even at this time and age, people still do not know the feeling of love, or i should say they have forgotten how to love.. Not only mundane BGR love but also love for their fellow colleagues or friends or even their own vajra family..

If only everyone use their heart to talk to each other or do everything from the bottom of their heart, for the benefit for all sentient beings then it will be like what Lama says: " Everyone will be like walking Boddhisattvas on this Earth.." It is hard for everyone to feel this way but if one person starts and influence the person next to him/her then it will spread on...

All in all may everyone be able to meet and practice the Buddhadharma and gain enlightenment to be a Buddha and lead all six realms sentient beings to that state of enlightment too...

OM AH HUNG!

Gyatso-la

Booms! New blogskin for the new year..

2010-02-09T16:31:00.003+08:00

Been quite some time since i last blogged.. So many things have happened.. People passing away, and many events happening constantly in my life.. Met quite a few new frens and all.. ha ha.. Will update more when i got the feel.. LOL.. today just to log in to change the blogskin..

Gyatso-la

2009-10-25T01:27:00.005+08:00

9 Preliminaries!!!

Back on track to do my 9 Preliminaries.. have been slacking alreadyssss... going into a retreat mode to do my preliminaries... decided to start from the start again.. ha ha... Namo Gurubyah againsssss... wheeeee...... Sorry to the people I have to give up.. May seem selfish but then I have to fulfil my Guru's command... For the sake of all sentient beings i shall practise and not let my Guru down.. Lama please bless me!!! This time round is driving towards completion... no more procastination... 1000times of Namo Gurubyah accumulated till now... More to come... one day 400 times.. Namo Gurubyah will complete in 28 days... all four together will be 4 months!!! wheeee.... only then can i tell my Guru proudly what i have achieved...

Gyatso-la...

2009-05-03T20:25:00.002+08:00

Mixed emotions....

Had a lot of fun helping out at Thekchen Choling and also hanging out with Val aka lalio aka Miss Ullambana ha ha... Today concludes the celebration of Lord Shakyamuni Buddha BIrthday celebration with 3000 Buddhas chanting... But the best have yet to come that is VESAK DAY!! So many events... Can still remember Lama's smile and everybody's hugs and smile on their face... We may not a very big temple but we "Connect All With Divine Heart" and it is a cosy place to be in... Do drop by our temple @ No.2 Beatty Lane Thekchen Choling (Singapore)... On the 9th of May Vesak Day we have loads of events like unveiling of the wish fufilling jewel thangka of Shakyamuni Buddha and so on... visit Thekchen Choling Website @ www.thekchencholing.org

lost_fantasy

2009-04-20T23:58:00.002+08:00

MY BLOG HAS BEEN REVIVED!!!

after months and months of procastination I have finally decided to revive my blog... With a new look and a new me... For those who have known me recently will notice that my past posts are very emo so heck with that ha ha... I was thinking of deleting the old posts but had second thoughts about it as it dictates my spiritual and emotional growth.. I have to agree my life was lost and in a horrible mess until i met my kind and compassionate Lama... Lama Thubten Namdrol Dorje is my Guru and will always be my Guru.. It was my meeting with him in Thekchen Choling (Singapore) that changed my mind and thinking and it was thru his Dharma teachings and kind advices that I am able walk out from darkness and embrace life again and really appreciate it.. I give thanks to Buddha and Mother Tara for guiding me to my Guru and always protecting me from harm and letting me learn thru experiences... Will be constantly updating on my blog...

May All Be Auspicious
Sarwa Mangalam

lost_fantasy

2008-10-01T15:58:00.006+08:00

Reiki Level 1 Attunement Mandarin on 27-Sept-08

Finally got time to blog again... Been very hectic rushing between places... Now my life is only filled with work and Thekchen Choling... I had my first Mandarin class for Reiki Level 1 Attunement on 27-sept-08. It was a huge success and was very fulfilling for all of them who attended the class.. Rei means universal energy and Ki means qi. Reiki is a healing modality whereby we tap upon the unviersal energy field and transfuse this energy into the patient's body... To learn Reiki you need to have been attuned by a certified Reiki Master.... Here are some pics that we took on that day..

Practice Session...

Shhhh.... dun disturb......

Graduation Class for Reiki Attunement Level 1 Mandarin... Success!

I would like to give thanks to all the wonderful and loving guides, Shakyamuni Buddha, Guru rinpoche, Goddess Green Tara, Chenrezig, dakinis, and dieties who were present to make the class an eventful and enjoyable one... Second run of Level 1 mandarin coming up and Level 2 Attunement coming up too so stay tuned.....

lost_fantasy

2008-09-22T21:29:00.006+08:00

Cobwebs filling up the corners of my blog... Time for spring cleaning and a new jab of entry and update on what i have been doing... hmm... All in all most of my time is spent in Thekchen Choling... Have been helping out with quite a lot of planning and organising with regards to the alternative healing team... And also learning new mantras and sutras.... playing with the Orsel (a cute dog) and her puppies... Healing Fest coming up and that means more work to do... And also preparing for my first Reiki Attunment Level 1 Mandarin on 27/9/08... And planning a workshop "Invoking The Dakini (Goddess) Within" for the girls at TCCL... Left TTS* after the Mother Tara gave the green light and started new job at a shipping company in Millenia Tower... Since my spiritual work are on path I will be leaving the job during 2 week of Oct when i have a lot of activities at Thekchen Choling... Did not have much time to contact a lot of my jie mei-ssss... so sorry gals... When Oct is over then will have more time... In the meantime rejoice...

lost_fantasy

This puppy is named as Bodhi by Shifu....

The one on the left is called Mahakala ( One of our dharma protectors) He is named that becos he is fierce and barks at people... The one on the right is called Karma... Its the only girl....

2008-08-15T11:02:00.005+08:00

Im breaking down liao.. as tears stream down my cheeks as i type this post... when its time to release emotions, you will have to release... i thank my guides for letting me release my old emotions to make way for new ones... its going to be a new evolution and new chapter of my life... going to start afresh in a new environment and new level of initiation.... going to stand up on my own and learn to take things in my stride... sorry to those i have disappointed...

Do you think this is what i want or something i can control?? NO!!! NEVER HAVE I BEEN IN CONTROL OF ANYTHING... THINK ABOUT MY FEELINGS BEFORE PLANNING OR GUIDING MY LIFE FOR ME...

Yearning to go back to where i belong...

lost_fantasy

2008-08-14T18:42:00.002+08:00

Am I Pushing Myself Too Much Or This Is Already My Limit??

Been thinking about this issue today... This Question struck me when i woke up early in the morning with tears streaming down my cheeks... No specific reasons as to why i cried but it might be a message from my body that i have been pushing myself too hard... It is always my style to achieve perfection in both mundane and spiritual work... As a GOD created instrument to balance the polaritites of the world may seem like a very big mission for me but am i taking up the mission too soon?? I have incorporated spirituality into my human life for many years... when i look back at my spiritual evolution, i may feel proud that i have grown up and getting more stable in balancing the two sides of life... but what have i gained other than recognition from people?? I feel happy when im able to help people with my abilities and to see them back on track... received letters of appreciation, thank you sms-es... but there is still an emptiness in a corner of my heart... something that has to be found but not yet to be found... No one has been able to give me the answer not even my guides... Always been putting on strong front and going with people's decision... it may be time to stand on my own grounds and pick up myself from where i have fallen... even if the perfect man has not arrived but i know that i am able to walk on my own to the end... even if the day i leave i will still do a grand finale before the curtains close...

lost_fantasy

2008-08-02T22:47:00.002+08:00

Some people just like to test my patience... im feeling damn tired... so damn fxxx-ing bored with this place... seeing people that you have to see everyday day in day out and cant do anything abiout it... asking people to do things that they themselves dun even like to do... treating people the way they dun want to be treated and they got the cheek to tell me about fairness and equality... fairness only works when we stand on equal grounds and not using your authority over others.. As the saying goes " Treat people the way you want them to treat you"... damn fxxx-ing but cant say a word... Really need someone to depend on for emotional support soon if not im going to burst like a volcano... One person after another... sianzzz..... nvm... i went gym today!!! saw a few hunks ha ha... salivating me ha ha... trying to tone up my body and try to shed some kilos... hope to hook some hunks too lol.... sound unrealistic but the dream that i have been having for the past 2 years about my other half have been playing occasionally in my dreams... where are you man ha ha... since i had the dream of this guy, i have been putting on a ring on my ring finger... when i dun put it on it feels weird... maybe sort of 'married' to this guy le ba ha ha cos my past r/s do not last... think too much le ba ha ha.. but just hope to meet him soon so that i can share my happiness and emo with him...

Among the crowds that jostle past me everyday, we might have missed each other or rubbed shoulders... The reason why we missed each other is because we are always trying to find each other in the crowds and did not realise that we are actually inches away...

lost_fantasy

2008-07-31T19:49:00.002+08:00

As the lunar seventh month approaches.. It gives us a sense of fear and anticipation... People are relatively fearful of things that we cant see... It give us a sense of unknown and doubt.... For people who are able to see them, it gives us a sense of anticipation as we see the people whom we have so dearly loved returning back from the other world to see us and to reunite with us.... although it may be only a few days or weeks but we know that they will spend the precious days with the family and to see how the people around them are getting on.... I am specially anticipated to see my grandpa and great grandparents ha ha.. some people may think im a freak... but i feel more at ease with them around... looks like the message from the angels were right... Im cut out to be an entreprenuer but the people who are working with me are not living beings but of spiritual beings... Not forgetting the vengeful spirits and homeless spirits... we shall all pray for them by chanting the mantra OM MANI PADME HUM.....

Om Mani Padme Hum (or Om Mani Padme Hung), is the most common mantra in Tibet, recited by Buddhists, painted or carved on rocks, prayer wheels, or yak skulls and seen around most usually. Tibetan people, almost all Buddhists, do believe that it is very good to practice the mantra of Chenrezi, the Bodhisattva of Compassion (The protective deity of Tibet), which may, relieve negative karma, accumulate merit, help rescue them from the sea of suffering and achieve Buddhahood. Speaking the mantra loud or silently, spinning prayer wheels with the mantra, and carving mantra into stones are the usual practices.

Om, symbolize one's impure body, speech and mind, and also the pure noble body, speech and mind of a Buddha. Buddhism claims that an impure body, speech and mind can be transformed into pure ones of a Buddha, who was once impure and later by removing their negative attributes, achieved enlightenment on his path.

Mani, the jewel, symbolizes factors of method, compassion and love, the altruistic intention to become enlightened. "Just as a jewel is capable of removing poverty, so the altruistic mind of enlightenment is capable of removing the poverty, or difficulties, and of solitary peace. Similarly, just as a jewel fulfills the wishes of sentient beings, so the altruistic intention to become enlightened fulfills the wishes of sentient beings", the Dalai Lama says.

PADME means lotus and symbolizes wisdom. Growing out of mud, but not being stained by mud, lotus indicates the quality of wisdom, which keeps you out of contradiction.

The last syllabus, Hum, means inseparability; symbolizing purity & can be achieved by the unity of method and wisdom.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Pronounced: Ohm - Ma Nee - Pod May - Hum
This chant brings you joy & peaceful vibrations.

lost_fantasy

2008-07-30T22:24:00.008+08:00

Im obsessed with the song gun lae gun ha ha... It means You and Me in Thai.... The songs starts with a verse saying " Do You know that this song was written for you? Without You I would not be able to write it.." ha ha.. ok ok very sentimental but nice song... Tomorrow is another long day but starting to get a hang of it... Looking forward to the next reiki healing session on sunday... Having too much negative tots and negative energy in me le... find it very hard to purge all the energy out... maybe my heart is starting to close up to people?? who knows... only GOD knows... enough of blogging and i wanna show u guys the pic of Mario Maurer who plays the role of Tong... very suai and cute lol....

lost_fantasy

2008-07-26T20:32:00.002+08:00

Would like to intro one very nice show " The Love Of Siam". It is a Thai film thats was filmed in 2006. It is about the love of two boys. Mew and Tong were neighbors and close friends in childhood. But after Tong's sister, Tang, disappeared, Tong's family moved away. The boys are reunited during their senior year of high school at Siam Square. The musically talented Mew is the leader of a boy band called August. Tong has a pretty girlfriend, Donut. The meeting stirs up old feelings that Mew has harbored since boyhood, his love for Tong. Mew's band, meanwhile, has a new manager, June. She looks just like Tong's long-lost sister, Tang. After meeting June, Tong and his mother, Sunee, devise to a plan to pay June to pretend she is Tang, in hopes that it will pull Tong's father out of his alcoholic depression. Mew is also the object of an unrequited crush of a neighbor girl, Ying. But Mew has strong feelings for Tong, which have inspired him to write new songs.The boys share a prolonged kiss in Tong's backyard one night after a party in honor of the return of Tang. Tong also spends the night with Mew, which causes his mother to worry. At Christmas times, as Tong and his mother are decorating a Christmas tree, they have a heart-to-heart talk about making choices, and Tong asks his mother to let him make his own choices. Tong then goes to Siam Square for a date with Donut. Mew's band is playing nearby, so Tong abandons Donut and tells her he cannot be with her. He then rushes to see Mew play and is guided there by Ying, who has accepted the fact that Mew loves Tong. After the performance, Tong gives Mew a gift, a missing nose from a wooden doll that Tong gave him when they were children. However, Tong tells Mew he can't be his boyfriend but that doesn't mean he doesn't love Mew.

A very nice and touching story... was crying when i watched the movie... ha ha... i was searching very hard for the ost... finally i found it and was so elated ha ha.. very nice song so just wanna put it in my blog to share with u guys... this is the song that Mew wrote when he tot of Tong.. It was to tell Tong that the song was written for him and that everytime he hears the song, he will think of him. Without Tong, he will not be able to write such a beautiful song....

To All Loves That Brings Us Life...

lost_fantasy

2008-07-18T20:16:00.002+08:00

Realised that my body is giving way soon... showing signs of degrading... have been using reiki healing to keep myself together.. but realised that it might last not last long... just hope to pull thru to my 20th bdae... four more months to go... real tired trying to hold myself up ha ha.. even have problem trying to make myself smile or be happy.. going to work of cos its a prob too cos cant even get myself out of bed and no forgetting the constant detox! Looks like my guides are preparing me for the new works that are in line for me... Will be giving free Reiki Healing consultation at Thekchen Choling Temple every sunday 3-5pm and also being a counsellor for one of our community de non profit organisation for G**. ha ha.. Suppose my guides want me to stretch my potential to the fullest... For information on the Reiki Healing at the Thekchen Choling Temple can check out the website: http://thekchencholing.org/Templates/heal_reiki.htm

To the people who knows me and are close to me... A message for you guys: " It has been a joy knowing you people and thanks for being there when i need you guys and of cos girls ha ha.. If there are any inconveniece or anger incurred from my words and actions please dun take it to heart... You shall always be blessed by the light of the Buddha...."

lost_fantasy

2008-07-10T21:22:00.002+08:00

Today is the 10th of July... My 20th birthday is coming.... Its time for another major change in my life... I think i have done a relatively good job with the ppl around me... there are ups and downs but i know that these are all tests for me to be stronger and to learn more thru personal experiences.. ppl around me with renewed faith and mission and new sense of direction... thinking back on the new people i have come in contact with makes me wanna say 'WOW'... ha ha cos i have known too many people this yr... they come and go and some old people have changed and left me.. just take it that Fate has cut off the bonds with them and me... will still wish them all the best in my heart.... After my 20th birthday who is going to leave me?? No one knows... they will just creep away quietly or some will make a big wooha before leaving.. It was Fate who brought them to me and was also Fate who took them away from me... If i really look back now at the people whom have been with me all these years... the answer is : 0 .... no surprises to me ha ha... even the closest with me for years left me too so what can i say... i remember an angel card telling me this: ' You are an entrepreneur but the people working with you are not humans but spiritual guides.' its true though ha ha... Now stepping back into an old job environment makes me realise that im thoroughly spent of my energy... I thank Mummy kl for her effort in getting me a job back in TTS* and her tolerance towards me and not forgetting the care and concern she has put in... she was always my listening ears and a motherly figure towards me.. Dun wish to disappoint her but i just have to dedicate this msg to her... " Mummy when I am really tired and drained out, I will be leaving for a place far from you but I will always be looking over you and your family.. One day when you see a light behind you, dun be afraid as that is me always supporting you and blessing you from behind. Hope we can be mother and daughter for the last ten years... You the best... Cheers!" Counting number of days i can stay in TTS* ha ha...

lost_fantasy

2008-07-02T13:15:00.005+08:00

It was winnie's last day on monday... ha ha... supposed to be a sad gathering but realised that we laughed more than we cried lol.. went down to office to wait for her and maryann and mummy kl... we took pics in the office.. here are some pics:

From Left to right: Maryann, Winnie and Mummy Kl...

Maryann, Winnie And Me...

After which was dinner at the Pu Tian restaurant at little india... was very very nice ha ha... And Winnie i wont forget u saying me ki siow de ok... All the best to her and hope that she will soar to greater heights. The light of the angels and goddesses shall be shining on you always....

lost_fantasy

2008-06-25T13:54:00.003+08:00

Left Spservices regretfully but nonetheless it marks the start of a new chapter in my life... Working there has let me made three more jie meis and it was very coincidental that we all meet there.. Lucky aka Luan Ting was given choice of Spservices and another job but she chose Spservices and for me given two jobs CPF and Spservices i chose Spservices... might be fate though to meet Ah Ma Jes and Lucky and JR... without them my life in Spservices will be very bored and i miss flooding their agent chat ha ha.. but flowers dun blossom all year long so must be strong sisters... even though i left but like what lucky always say... my spirit will always linger there becos my id still exist in the system forever lol... Now awaiting news from my new job TTSH or Taka retail... Leave to my guides to make the choice for me... Someone asked me few days back.. Why don't i give up spirituality and be someone normal so i dun have to face so many changes and challenges... i told her.. it is spirituality that a new me was borned if not for spirituality there wont be a new me... i would still be someone who would cry over spilt milk and wont climb up after falling down.. i asked her.. which me do u wanna see... ha ha... not trying to be obsessed with my spirituality but i see it as a need rather than obsession... it is the source of dependence and solace for me.. i will continue to spread this spirituality practice till the day i die... And i just finished my ON AIR... very very sad... so touching sob sob... T_T

http://images.exoticindia.com/nepalese/the_goddess_green_tara_zn41sm.jpg

Goddess Green Tara

"She is an enlightened being on the twelfth bhumi or stage of enlightenment, able to fulfill all the wishes of beings. Tara is the manifestation of the compassion of all the Buddhas of the three times. She is also the goddess who carries out and accomplishes the enlightened activities of the Buddhas. "

"Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva had immense compassion for other living beings. Although he strove ceaselessly to help other beings, he felt great sorrow that so many beings continued to fall helplessly into the lower realms of existence such as the hells. He saw that very few beings were making progress on the path to enlightenment.

In utter despair, out of unbearable compassion, Avalokiteshvara cried in anguish, praying that it would be better that his body be broken into pieces and he die, since he was unable to fulfill his task of rescuing living beings from suffering. From his tears of compassion, the goddess Tara arose.

Upon appearing miraculously in this way, Tara spoke to Avalokiteshvara, saying, "O noble one, do not forsake the sublime task of benefiting sentient beings. I have been inspired by and have rejoiced in all of your unselfish deeds. I understand the great hardships you have undergone. But perhaps, if I assume the form of a female bodhisattva with the name of Tara, as a counterpart to you, then that might assist you in your most worthy endeavors."

Hearing this aspiration by Tara, Avalokiteshvara was filled with a renewed courage to continue his efforts on behalf of beings, and at this time both he and Tara were blessed by Amitabha Buddha for their commitment to the bodhisattva path.

At the time when Avalokiteshvara had cried out in despair, his body broke into one thousand pieces. Amitabha Buddha then blessed his body so that Avalokiteshvara arose in a new form with eleven heads, and with one thousand arms with an eye in the palm of each hand."

lost_fantasy

2008-05-14T21:32:00.005+08:00

Been so long since i last blogged lol... Been very very busy with new job at SP Services Singapore Power.. Working as CSO... very nice place to work in and very nice ppl too... And also very stupid callers who call in to nag and complain... but my training was lightened up by my three jie mei lol... luan ting, jianrong and waiji... we attended the training together and laughed and crazy together even when we on the line liao also still so 38 lol... made frens with a lot of jie mei there... and of cos there are suai ge too... Ex- target was Clarence but found him too MCP so changed to a new one named Dexter lol... our dept is named as the 38 girls team.. yeah!!! fun and erotic group lol... and in my office so many g-rated de some more wa ha ha ha ha... its fun de lor... lets hope can stay till sept then go off ba lol...

First row: me and waiji
Second row: luan ting and jianrong
More pics to come.... Wait for more~~~

lost_fantasy

2008-04-26T23:11:00.003+08:00

Changed to a new blog skin thanks to my sister Pauline.. Thanks ya... she was browsing then she saw this nice blog skin and decided to help me change.. And this blog skin have archives so my last entries like even my first entry can be viewed. maybe people who know me not long will realise i changed a lot since last time. first entry is even in may 2006... ha ha... wow blogging for reaching 2 years liao.. can see drastic change in me and my past relationship so hmm... get to know me more ba... like a life story unfold.. ha ha.. how i came out to face the world in terms of sexuality issues and relationship break downs... but thanks to all people who stood by me all these years and thanks to all guides, god and goddesses who made all these a learning experience for me.. i have started working in Singapore Powers call centre so will be very busy so wont be updating that often but bear with me and be patient for my new post. see ya....

Gemstone of the week : Pyrite...

Iron Pyrite Cluster

The resemblance of pyrite to gold has made it a traditional symbol for money and good luck. It's sunny golden color associates it with the sun, and with fortification and strengthening of the mind. The name comes from the Greek word meaning "a stone which strikes fire".

Iron Pyrite makes a wonderful energy shield, blocking out negativity from various sources. Some of its properties include:

Overcomes inertia and feelings of inadequacy
Energizes the area where you place it (such as on a desk where you work)
Helps you to see behind a facade

Healing with Iron Pyrite

Use this stone to overcome lethargy and fatigue. It increases the oxygen supply to the blood and strengthens the circulatory system. It is beneficial for the lungs, alleviating bronchitis and asthma.

" Everyone in this world is like a piece of raw jade.. With cultivation and practice, this piece of jade will be polished to shine. We hold a precious gemstone in out heart... Polish it well and it shall be our result slip when we meet Buddha. Protect it well and offer it to Buddha when we return to his Buddhaland."

Goddess Green Tara.

Channeled by Alvin

23/4/08

07:55

lost_fantasy

2008-03-05T01:05:00.002+08:00

so shacked after giving tuition to van and lesson on crystal healing to mummy kl and a sit in guest who is my cousin.. ha ha.. cool eh... was having lots of fun and laughter... soon i will have to plan for a new course to be launched in april so have to start gathering info and materials... and i got my order of angel aura quartz and my aqua aura quartz and clear quartz angel todae.. so happy.. the energy is shiok sia.. these few nites having weird dreams and after checking with a master he say im seeing my past lives and will continue to receive all these dreams.. cool man.. looks like i have very interesting past lives as from wat i can see.. have been feeling so empty lately although in the midst of so many things to do... might be lack of love lol... im coming up with a new fad on my blog now.. introducing the crystal of the week.. people who are interested in crystals can see what crystals to bring for the week.. consulted from my guides and angels..

Crystal Of the week...
A favourite crystal of mine.. : Rose Quartz...

Rose Quartz Gemstone meaning

Your marriage can have more sparkle and fire when you keep a rose quartz under your pillow. You will look younger too.

Rose quartz is known as the love stone. It helps the user feel a strong sense of self-worth, therefore being worth love. Rose quartz is the stone of universal love. It is also the stone of love in marriage. When worn in jewelry the wearer feels a sense of self-worth.

Healing properties of Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz has a gentle vibration of love for the owner. It gives inner peace and helps in all matters pertaining to love in all its forms. Rose Quartz opens the heart to love. It also helps as a rejuvenator to the skin. It is a lovely stone for a young person.

It is said washing the face in water charged by rose quartz will help fade winkles and keep the skin young.

2008-02-19T21:06:00.004+08:00

Looking at my parents and how this 'family' im living in makes me think about what is the initial thought of a couple when they decided to get married.. looking at my parents quarreling over lame trivial matters and a dad who only cares about himself and spares no thought to his family makes me quite disappointed though.. thinking back at times when i was small i did not have a very happy family environment to start of with... however they gave me some good memories as well and not all bad memories.. i still remember when i was 5, it was my birthday and my parents took off to celebrate my birthday with me.. but tt was the only time they really took note and celebrated my birthday.. but all these cant cover all the hurt and disappointment they have instilled in me for so many years.. can you imagine a boy at the age of 8 have to be very caution not to trigger his mum's temper by talking loudly or banging something.. having to think wat time will his mum be back.. the familiar key sounds depict the start of my nightmare.. it was like hell i should say.. no one to care abt you and only you yourself to fend for your own.. it is definitely not a very good feeling... till now these scars in my heart still as fresh as ever in my heart.. and my mum asked me one question can you forgive and forget whatever i have done to you and the answer i gave her was "NO". you may think that i have been very cruel or heartless towards her but has she cared abt my feelings before she did all those things.. even when im older now she still pulls a tight reigns on me and really with 20% freedom in hand where can you run to.. the only solace i can find in the house is my own room.. the place where i have my own freedom and space.. but its not 100% freedom but i gladly accept.. i believe i have came across ppl who have the same destiny as i or even more sad than me but i sincerely hope parents will really think before they act as watever things that they dont wish to do might also be things that the kids dun wish to do too.. this entry is not something for people to sympathize with but a wake up call to parents or parents wannabe..

Message of the day: Think before you act.. Think about the feelings of others before you take an action as it may be a hurtful scar to the person for a long period of time or even a lifetime.. Would you prefer people to have good or bad memories of u? The decision is up to you..

2008-02-16T00:51:00.002+08:00

wa working damn feverish todae man... and while working i tot of one of my fren's blog entry abt frens.. something struck me hard in the face and decided to put it down in words.

FRIENDS
What does this word really means.. there are all sorts of friends in this world and friends its the only group of people you can choose to say hi or bye.. sometime i really wonder who are really the so called true/best frens cos as human beings we are meant to have the basic survival instinct.. so we tend to make use of ppl or be used by ppl.. but in the end we dont even know abt it.. even the best of frens do betray you too.. it can be seen on tv and in real life like best frens seducing ur bf/gf or best frens try to break up ur relationship.. r they called best frens? i dont dare to say i have the best group of frens around as i know among my frens there are ppl who speak behind my back or even try to be nice on front and be a devil at the back... but what can i do as i call them frens.. so are there really ppl called best of frens? i wonder~~

However i really take my hat off to some people who can really lie through their teeth and still try to cover their butts with lame excuses.. they can tell u one thing and tell another person another thing.. but when the truth comes out the person can find another lame shit to cover up.. cool rite and i just happen to know one ha ha.. i give u two claps.. But i shan't mention the name for the privacy sake of the person..

Message of the day: You Choose The Way How You Want Your Frens To Treat You.. If you treat them good they will be good to you.. If you are truthful to you they will be truthful to you too..

lost_fantasy

2008-02-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

just changed my blog skin!! looks kinda nice ha ha.. but a bit melancholic though.. hope you ppl like it.. took me an hour to change it lol.. cny comin le wor... wish you all happy new year.. may all ur wishes come true...

Quand la mer de l'amour a séché vers le haut, elle prend seulement un autre type pour la remplir..

When the sea of the love dried upwards, it takes only another type to fill it

lost_fantasy

2008-01-21T15:27:00.000+08:00

went for volunteering for beauty world with grace and yt and debz last sat... our third production with wild rice.. was so fun ha ha.. lots of laugh with calamari rings and celery sticks... saw my fav daren tan... got to take fotos with him and the cast... was damn nice~~~ got a chance to hug daren as well.. lol.. his waist is slim de lor.. and he is very friendly and fun.. strike a lot of poses for fans to take fotos of him.. but everyone was sad cos its the last show for beauty world but heard from nadia that wild rice will bring back beauty world again.. yesh!! can go help out and see daren again... woo hoo~~ ok enough of 38 ha ha.. was in charge is FOH merchandising cart so me and nadia was busy like crazy... ppl swarm in to get the merchandises.. big headache!! but me clever one ok handled them fast and good... after the shows we were given a set of merchandise and wat to do with it leh of cos its to get it autographed by the cast and as cam whores must take fotos with them la... but the pics with grace will upload once i get them... during show times and nothing to do can do wat leh... show u wat i did ha ha..

showing my merchandise cart...

nothing to do then played with the feathers tt were on deco.. look so holy!!

two new frens... jia jia and elizabeth.. they are teachers at de la salle.. but dun be mistaken they not les ha ha.. just to entertain me so they agreed to hold the feathers and take pics.. lol...

so many ppl q-ing for the autograph session.. dick lee was there as well.. he looked so man and matured... ha ha.. after our carts were closed we went to join the queue.. we were like crazy girls in teens going after idols but my main target was..... ha ha its an all known thing! Daren!!! woo~~~ his album will be out on tml.. yesh!! looking forward to his album after hearing to his performance in beauty world... jia you orh!! oh no poor pa wei bo now he got competitor for the place in my heart.. lame ha ha .. ciao.. cha cha cha..

lost_fantasy

2008-01-05T22:23:00.001+08:00

yoshi de mummy in back in sg... so scary lor.. call me then ask me go ot with her... and then we went for a very very big lunch.. food meant for 8 pax but in the end only 3 of us eating... then went to hv steamboat at amk with mummy keng lan and roger and vanessa and ellen and winnie... it was so nice lor ha ha... got a lot of pics to upload to blog ah lol... was so full when we finished and then within 15 mins my tummy pain pain like hell le... no choice got to grab a cab and rush home...
ha ha.. detox till nearly dehydration lol.. then todae morning got woken up so early and went for tea with his mummy and again she stuffed me with a lot of food!!! dying lol... then met cer jiej ie too... went to take neoprints!!! fun rite.. both of us so hiao lor...

jie jie and me..

the happy family and the steamboat lol..

ghastly winnie eating up innocent ellen..

My cute cute pooh bear and davidoff silver shadow...
Tml still got volunteer!!! urgh going crazy soon so busy and thurs flying off le.. ha ha... die to many ppl i promise will bring back gifts le... where to dig out the gifts leh ha ha... but nvm will find some ways and another...

lost_fantasy

2007-12-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

ho ho ho... merry christmas~~~ its the season of giving and receiving... and soon it will be 2008.. new yr resolution! todae the moment i woke up got a few signs from the angels.. my mum bought some articles back and its on angels and mag also on angels.. think its time to say hi to every angels and ascended masters.. christmas eve went to orchard with cin and sw and zhi yong.. joined by gim moh,an an and gim moh bro and gf... it was so squeezy there lor...

me and sw and cin...

sw,cin,me and zhi yong..
had a fun day with them ha ha... thanks for the nice trip to orchard although very tired after tt ha ha... me cin and zy even went to gek poh for supper till four ha ha... looking forward to more outings with u guys wor!

lost_fantasy

2007-12-24T12:30:00.000+08:00

Christmas is here!! ha ha.. but surprisingly im not very excited abt christmas this yr ha ha.. cos no anata to acc me this yr.. santa claus where is my christmas gift~~ ha ha. sounds chilidsh enough.. last fri marked the last day of work in ttsh.. wow... yeah!! surprised my colls cried when i left.. ha ha... everyday so 38 with me one then first time see them cry... ha ha.. took lots of pics in office..

Mummy keng lan and arwen de ma.. lots more nv post up ha ha.. sat i went to help out at the art house and got an angel massage ha ha..

miss jac doing head and shoulder massage for me.. ha ha.. was nice u know one day must bring u all out to try lol... got to go for beauty nap le... see ya..

lost_fantasy

2007-12-20T16:11:00.000+08:00

Now Playing: Pan Wei Bo( Shuo Ni Ai Wo )

nice song lor... ha ha... big fan of pan wei bo~~ omg so many things taking place in my life~ tml is my last day @ TTSH le... Gonna so miss all the 38s there ha ha... dunno wat to give to them as farewell gifts so decided to draw seomthing for them...

ha ha... rushed overnite for the drawings.. hope the girls like it but dun look very nice... dun mind ah lol..
Jan going to terrenganu le... might be there for two weeks... a lot things will be happening there i guess.. a big haul there i guess... My new shop name will be Golden Essence...

Went Ikea with the girls yesterday and mummy keng lan, winnie pooh and maryann very nice of them to get me a new deck for farewell and christmas gift... thanks girls!!

Nice deck man~~~ ha ha.. thank you girls... Was having so much fun at Ikea haha...

Me And Mummy Keng Lan.. Like Mummy's Boy rite haha... so guai lor.. carry the Ikea bag for her..

Hee Har... Riding On Little Horsey~~
Thanks for the enjoyable day girls we had great laugh and fun... hope for more gatherings orh..
lost_fantasy

2007-11-27T21:03:00.001+08:00

Ya ya ya i know its been a month again since i last updated haha.. but cannot blame me lor.. been so busy with work and stuffs... hmm lets see wat i have i done for a month.. work and work and work and turning 19 years old!!! haha.. older one yr le lor should have some breakthru le.. yes manifesting for a spiritual breakthru and working towards it.. and in two weeks time victorian light will be launched and woah~~~ i will be even more tied down lol... have been doing quite a lot of drawings recently.. i love the cherubims.. so cute like me lor haha.. dun see them small angels but they are the second in ranking among the heirarchy of angels.. me leh... going thru a transition for one month le... so many things happened and like wat mummy chasna said its all tests from the masters before i connect with them in jan 2008.. so will try my best to pull thru all tests they have set for me.. and i know u bros and sis out there will be with me by my side supporting in all spiritual work i do.. christmas is coming so i have decided to spread love and joy to all people who have lost their loved ones.. we shall pray for the renewal of faith and confidence in GOD to help u overcome the many obstacles to come.. And Kelvin u say i will get my anata in jan de lor so cannot bluff me ah~~~ yeah seen him in my dreams twice le and he is mixed blood de... chn and korean... suai suai de lor so just wait and sisters.. will bring him to let u guys QC check haha.. no wonder forutne teller say i cannot have sg bf cos will fall thru lol.. waiting for him to arrive and add colors in my life..

lost_fantasy

2007-10-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

OMG so goddamn long nv blog le...
Ladies and Gentleman Im back!!!
been so long since i updated this blog and with the power of the Angels and Ascended Masters i hereby revive this blog ha ha...
1) I withdraw from school
2) I working at TTSH as contact centre associate
3) Going deeper into my spiritual path
4) Found my life purpose and mission thanks to all guides, angels, ascended masters, celestial beings, elementals, and many more~~
5) Victorian Light will be born soon.... first step to letting everyone know of my services. We will be doing channeled crystal accessories, Angel Oracle Card Reading and Angel Channeling and Angel And Flower Healing and many more~

Have been a tough three to four months for me... went thru a big transition... emotional turmoils and physical turmoil... but nvm i got out of it le with the help of everyone... and i wanna give thanks to Faeries' Retreat as it was there i proved my self worth and get to meet many facilitators like Mummy Chasna, Flynn Jie Jie, Tabitha, Four Faeries and many more~~ Widen my knowledge and got to know so many new things.. Im full of gratitude to the Angels especially the seven Archangels ( Raphael, Gabriel, Uriel, Metatron, Selaphon, Michael and not forgetting the one and only bitchy guide Haniel~~) * clap clap*

They have been there for me when i was down.. they shared my joy and laughter and my sorrows and indecisions. They also give me sound advices and always asked me to follow my heart in everything we do.. The Heart Chakra is where we connect with them and they always say ' Love Starts From Thyself' I believe they shall always be with me guiding me as well as the ever loving Ascended Masters Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Laughing Buddha, Tibetan Dharmas who chant for me every night.. And the Newly Connected seraphim named Seraphina... And all spiritual beings and guides..

Ps: The Angels are holding my hands when i typing this entry... All from the bottom of my Heart Chakra...

May You Bless The World With Love, Peace, Harmony and Light..
Om Sha

" Balance Is What You Need To Strike Out The Perfect Melody"
Archangel Haniel

DID:9321 2086
e-mail: tan_junhe@hotmail.com

2007-08-23T00:33:00.001+08:00

Y is it always like that??
should say my frens around me dun stay long with me.. they are just like passing frens.. i fear those that are very close to me from start... becos y in like two to three months time they will leave me and slowly lose contact.. i should say GOD actually send these frens to me for me to help them or when their life need a turning point.. Am i fated to have frens? i always ask my self that questions when i see ppl ard me having clicks for life or pals for life... if u ask me which fren is closest to me i can only say none.. u know why? that is becos new frens that i know are always troubled by a problem and after i helped to solved the situation or the problem has settled down, they will leave my side... i always tell ppl i have a lot of sisters and its true cos majority of my frens are gals... i nv count how many sisters i have made thru these few years.. cos they are countless.. but fren ard me dun last for long and if they are close to me from start i would nv expect them to stay close to me for long... dunno how it turn out to be but they just walk out of my life so silently... maybe im really here to complete my mission on earth and to return to the netherworlds as soon as possible...

lost_fantasy

2007-07-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

my throat still hurts like hell.... and dun feel too good too... but nvm i know i am slimming down ha ha... having lot of water and watermelon... but now on soft diet only.. nothing else.. slack at home whole day with my beloved com and Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows... i finally finished reading it le wa ha ha ha... ok la not too interesting cos to much details le.. but it was a round up for the seven books that are published for the past ten years... to say the truth Harry Potter really did become part of my life during my schooling days... each book was something that i would look for ward to.. but the movies dun really entice me as too much effects and too little details are being filmed.. would rather reda the book.. during time at home finished few DVDs like Truth Or Dare, Mean Girls, The Omen, A Millionaire First Love.. shows that i did not have a chance to watch at cinemas but can now enjoy in the comfort of my home.. the best was A Millionaire First Love.. so touching.. an arrogant heir to a vast amount of inheritance from his grandfather was being ordered by the will to graduate from a country-side school before he can get the money.. he went to the school and everything was so rundown and way back. but this girl caught his eye and without knowing his heart was with her.. the girl was an orphan in an orpahnage and attended the same school as him. one day the girl was diagnosed with cardio disease and is untreatable. the girl had a dream that is to live to see the first snow of the year. it was also the time for them to graduate. for the girl, the guy followed her wishes to act in the play and he also agreed to give up the whole inheritance in exchange for the money to save the orphanage.. the money he get if he give up the inheritance is 0.01% out of the whole inheritance. it was just enough to buy back the orphanage from the land owner. for the girl he did a lot of things and he knew that the girl did not have long to live. on the night of the play one of the lines that was last said was
guy: do u know why couples close their eyes when they kiss?
girl: no
guy: becos they are dazzled by each other..
with that the play ended and while the others were celebrating, the guy and the girl sat on a swing toking. the girl told the guy that she wanted to sleep for three mins but she just slept thru the first snow..
on the day of graduation, the guy got the inheritance as the lawyer told him that his grandfather said in his will that he will still get his inheritance when he give up something for the on he loves. the guy used the inheritance to build a huge house with many windows and believed that when the first snow hits the windows fifty times, the girl will be back......

lost_fantasy

2007-07-21T21:39:00.000+08:00

hiya guys im back... with much pain and agony lol.. was in hospital for three days two nites and its not holiday spa or anything near that lol... was admitted into NUH on thurs for my op named dunno wat the hell.. but its a op for my throat and nose..
19/7/2007
7am:reached NUH day surgery centre to register for my op..
8am: at waiting room outside operating theatre.
8.15am: was brought onto operating table..
8.20 to god knows wat time: operation.
12+: finally woke up and pushed to high dependency unit.. so damn pain and had a bloody nose pack in my nose..
could not eat or anything.. drinking also got prob... breathing problem... damn bad.. had to be put on 24hr surveillance.. stopped breathing quite a few times in the middle of the night..

20/7/2007
finally moved to general ward but still breathing very bad.. but could talk and drink water.. better than nothing.. grace, agnes and gugu... came and bought me essecene of chicken and balloons lol.. got spongebob and elmo.. uncle william and small aunt bought me a cute bear with a flower..

Bad habits dun quit ha ha... in such bad state still in the mood for photos.. but due to public appeal no choice..

yeah so many kiddy stuff.. even my surgeon also diaozz... ha ha ....

21/7/2007
11.30am: ready to remove the nose pack.. doc came and checked the nose pack and roughly plucked out two pieces of hard and big cotton sticks out of my nose.. so damn pain and bloody.. size of each nose pack is the size of ur fore finger.. yucks imagine having to stick these two pieces of things in ur nose for three day two nites.. blood flow like endless then had to put med to stop blood flow..
1pm: bathe and ready for discharge...

lost_fantasy

2007-07-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

todae went for my check up.. so sian... early morning woke up so sleepy... but nvm daddy sent me down haha .. did a blood test first.. stupid nurse dunno how to do.. poke both hands also got no blood come out.. then do ECG first... then went back for blood test... so ma fan lor... finally the doc came then used a stringe to force pump the blood out.. painful sia.... then my aunt came when i waiting for results.. she tell me a lot of things but one side go in one side come out... but one thing worth considering is to open a online biz... cool man.. see how maybe start by sellling accessories.. pendants , rings and stuff like that... maybe need auntie evelyn de help too... then my aunt ask me go yoga class ha ha.... good can get in shape.. now waiting for one more week before op le.... cool man...

lost_fantasy

2007-07-04T14:01:00.000+08:00

yeah!! i got into school of BE singing competition de finals... so cool... was singing zhao mi.... starting so nervous but after that was fine.. the female judge was looking at me giving out electricity ha ha .. dun say me thick skin ok not only one person say lor.. but the audiences there was great cheered me on and one group of girls even say " Alvin we support u"... looking forward to the finals on 18 July... then the next day is my op ha ha... sianzz... but get into finals can le... happy... next song is ji hui... got video of yesterdae audition de video but i dunno how to upload lol... but nvm ha ha ... and then vic-ter nv reply my sms but i heck care.. yesterdae also make cookies.. then stupid cindy give to jun ling and his face so red de lor ha ha ... i found one new entertainment liao.. that is to suan jun ling ha ha... so fun lor make him shy and make him angry.. change of emotions within seconds ha ha.. later got work leh... so bored....

photo of the audition..

lost_fantasy

2007-07-01T01:21:00.000+08:00

heh guyzz.. i will be going away for op on july 19 till god knows when hah a ... i will be un-contactable for tt period of time.. will be fine so dun worry..

2007-06-19T17:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when love comes knocking on ur door, we dont seem to realise it. perhaps wat we have been searching for is so far away from our reach. we always wanna aim high and dun wanna look at wat is already available to us that is in front of us. frens are the same too.. sometimes they seem to be caring for u but actually they may be using u as a stepping stone to get wat they want like someone that they love.

People always wanna be in the limelight and attract all the attention to themselves and want ppl to notice them. however sometimes they get all the wrong attention or maybe even incur the annoyance of ppl ard them. if u want someone to notice u or to announce ur existence just be confident and u will give out ur shine tt is a glow that wil lead people's eyes to fall upon u. there is no need for u to imitate other people's dressing or use of words as they may suit the user but not to u. have something unique in u as GOD has give each of us a special ablility that is implanted in u the moment u were created. Another things GOD has give us that i feel thankful for is the ability to LOVE.

lost_fantasy

2007-05-21T16:21:00.000+08:00

ha ha e-learning week le... yeah!! one week of slack and lots of e-learning tut lol... but nvm i will manage de ha ha ... so sianzzz next mon got check up at NUH kill me man... then took some photos on sat ha ha ha ... went to support philip and guys de soccer tournament.. they play well but they lost in the end.. 2:3.. short of one goal.. but they got the best sportmanship award nevertheless.. so cool lor.. and i like number 16 ha ha ... only jess and peg will know lol..

That is lollipop not cigarette ha ha ... i dun smoke lol...

2007-04-22T00:19:00.000+08:00

At cousin house sleeping over.. so took time off to blog.. was at national library doing volunteer work for theatre play ' Blithe Spirit ' .. found two new frens.. my da jie jie Debz and my third jie jie Kelvin hah a... Kelvin is cute de lor lol.... but nvm will look for mine own... must be out there somewhere waiting for me lol.. the volunteer work was fun and was crapping with big jie jie for the whole nite.. after tml night will have one complementary tix to go watch the play le.. cool.. want watch tv dun wanna tok much ha ha ...

2007-04-05T13:09:00.000+08:00

Just come back from lunch so tot so long nv update blog le just write something ha ha.. dead for so long le. finally attachment finishing soon le one week plus more and tml is public hol so which means one more week. cool man... so many things have caused upheavel in my schedule. now ogt new plan for my future le ha ha .. i will be joinging Sanctum a holisitc centre in singapore as an intuitive counselor. cool eh... ha ha.. And me and my cousin is coming up with a business proposal to open a new business pertaining to dead ppl ha ha ... can guess wat is it ma?? we are going into praying supplies for the deceased whether it is anniversay, qing ming, seventh month we will cater to all your needs.. we will prepare and send it to ur plc on the date u are comfortable with. we do it accroding to the Tan's tradition ha ha ... some traditional customs passed down from our ancestors. we are bringing it into business giving it a tinge of life.interested to engage our service can contact me when we have open for business.. see ya for now..

lost_fantasy

2007-03-16T13:13:00.000+08:00

Taking a break from work so come and update blog. If not ask garcia come visit my blog then not updated she come back from Germany sure kill me ha ha ha .. y so long nv update leh is becos i too busy with work. work le go home sleep then work same old routine ha ha .. becoming fatter like that.. die. i took a pic at tcc the other dae and found out my boobs are getting bigger.. die liao ha ha .. so many thins to update but then lazy to type so many ha ha .. so just summarize work-eat-work-home-eat-sleep-work ha ha ha ... One more month to go lor... sianzz stressed at work too and then go home need to be nagged by my paranoid mum kill me man.. Oh ya Gracia and gang u guy told me garcia come back want go out for gathering rite.. u all plan le then tell me ba.. see i free or not if not ha ha .. but will try to go la.. but celeste one i dunno cos she got atap chee liao... ppl lovey dovey dun ka chiao them. went out to meet HSBC de manager then she try out my new phone de cam. her skills not bad eh. ha ha ...

but anyway garcia i wont be able to with them to pick u up cos ur flight is 10am lor i working ha ha .... take care ya continue ur botox session ha ha.. one more week to enjoy only... back to work...

lost_fantasy

2007-02-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

Jade gave me a webby abt guardian angels todae and i checked it out.

November 17 through November 21: This period of time is governed by the Angel Mihael, who is an Angel of Sensuality. Mihael helps preserve harmony and union between spouses and life partners. In essence, he influences love and affection. Those who fall within the jurisdiction of this Angel possess a passionate and sensual nature...coupled with a pleasant temperament. These persons are flexible andand easygoing in their relationships, but tend to take romance itself very seriously. When in love, those ruled by Mihael are invariably loyal, intense and devoted...and by maintaining a calm purpose, they will gain much happiness through their closest relationships. In the Cabala, this Angel is in control of conjugal fidelity and fertility. Mihael is also one of the 72 Angels bearing the mysticalname of the God Shemhamphorae.

2007-02-14T14:47:00.000+08:00

so long nv touch my blog le haha.. busy with projects assignments and examsn and now attachment..now taking break in office so add one entry in.. attachment at chinatown ha ha ... so many cny goods available here.. every day hear the same old gong xi gong xi gong xi ni.. boring~~ my office very nice and cosy ha ha .. and the boss really very good.. give me chance to learn new things and knowing tt i do property, he let me handle all property loans and bring me along for lunch appointments.. but very tired after one day ofwork in office.. have to wear long sleeve and pants.. so sian ha ha .. show u guys pictures of desk..

my desk....

me.. ha ha ....
tts all for now.. go work liao.. cheers

lost_fantasy

2006-11-30T13:28:00.000+08:00

yeah!! my bdae de pics finally downloaded from auntie jess de blog ha ha .. thanks thanks... tt dae de celebration was at je de sakura.... special thanks to ppl who came : LJ,ST,SW,FL,YC,five flowers( jade,celeste, garc,dawn and me), adrian,liwen mummy and of cos my two lovable aunties jess and yin mei..

the five flowers... second row at the back me and garc.. first row from left dawn,jade and celeste.

sec sch sisters... fl,sw,lj,st and yc...

me and my two aunties... jess and yin mei... act cute is cute haha...

wow lucky bdae boi... two girls in my arms ha ha ....

2006-11-17T10:44:00.001+08:00

my first 18th bdae present... flew all the way from melbourne... cute bear bear ha ha ... thanks to whoever send it.. =p

End of exams liao ha ha .... dunno will get wat kind of results hmm.... looking forward to my bdae in four days time... going seoul garden with sisters! should be fun i guess especially with cer jie jie coming back from aust..

2006-11-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

todae siao siao took photos with mum and sis ha ha... enjoy the pics ha ha ..

me and my siao siao sis haha.... me so cute!!! urgh~~~

me and my mummy~~~ sexy eh spaghetti ha ha ... oi dun think too much its her sleeping clothes ha ha ... went in to shock her by taking pics with her when she abt to go bed ha ha ...

lost_fantasy

2006-11-02T13:49:00.000+08:00

went to meet garcia and gang at orchard.. who r they leh.. dawn celeste and new found fren geraldine... dawn garcia and geraldine cosplay prince of tennis go orchard walk walk..

my sisters in prince of tennis cosplay...

took pic with celeste in bk... sleepy me... haha..
heard something from garcia.. she told me she heard some things abt me tt came from my class... dun wanna sae much... this is the comment tt came from them

" wa his bf conquer asia liao now go australia. next going on to africa le."
sort of harmless but pls tts my business so think of wat ppl think before saying things...

2006-10-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

Back from KL le... so many ppl at the temple and had to take eight hrs bus ride to there cos bus driver keep stopping for breaks.. sianzz... this trip mostly eating and praying trip.. Phone got prob in malaysia so cannot msg more sianz... bought nice nice pineapple tarts from malacca.. finishing soon haha... Alan found a new job in the sales le... ha ha ... congrats... looking forward to u coming back orh *wink.. exams coming... e-learning week next week... haha one week no sch...cool man..

Me taking photo with the dragon at Tian Hou Gong in KL Tian Hou Gong

2006-10-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

going to malaysia next weekend le... wor ho... cool... finished watching goong le... ending quite abrupt heard there is a second series coming out but shin goon not in... sianzzz... in 2500M yrs later everything tt happen in this life will be repeated.. Loving the same person, breaking up with same person.... weird... starhub is a lousy moblie service provider.. charged me $254 for my last month bill wtf... my pay go to starhub le... sianzz... noe how to upload pic to blog le... yeah.... scanned my baby pic into com le... ha ha ... so nice to be baby again...

me with sunglasses... cool eh... ha ha .... they sae look like ultraman.. lol.... will upoad more pics de ha ha ...

2006-10-03T13:23:00.000+08:00

sorry for not openly announcing change os blog addy cos there have been inconsiderate ppl that view my blog and spreading distorted things abt me... so to stop this from happening, decided to change blog addy cos would not want to stop blogging becos of such ppl.... today morning forgot baby got interview and then msg baby and he nv reply me ha ha .... diaozzz... scare me sia.... in the end turned out he was still in interview when i msg him haha... wat a scare... in class now... so sian so just add entry lor... ;p take care guys....

ps: to see the wordsmore clearly, highlight the words.. sorry for the poor lettering..

lost_fantasy

2006-10-02T16:08:00.000+08:00

Heard from a fren recently saying tt ppl have been disscussing things like who i have been with or who is my current bf... she said tt she even heard things like i have a gf and a bf haha... ridiculous i would sae... just find it weird y ppl r so interested in knowing ppl's r/s status... like whether u r single or attached or who u r with tt kind of things... once i post an entry in my blog saying tt i went out with this guy then ppl will ask whether it is my bf or say tt tt guy is currently my bf.... chey this kind of thing also can sae until like t de meh... nvm forget wat ppl sae... so to clarify all the doubts tt ppl have out there and to make sure im not misunderstood and tongues will not wag again, i shall make known my r/s status... yes ppl im attached and also happily attached to my baby named Alan.... he is currently in aust melbourne working and will be back in cny... i have reg PLU frens and they r good frens to me... Some ppl ask me whether i am gay or not... i would sae just go with the feel as to whom im comfortable with whether is it guy ir girl... so for now im with a guy.... this is the only and final time i make known my r/s status.... thank you for not bothering me with gossips...

lost_fantasy

2006-09-29T15:58:00.000+08:00

update update...... ur blog is dead..... ur blog rotting liao..... y nv update.... haha... one of the few out of many comments from ppl who visit my blog.... not i dun want to update is no time... AH~~ cashiering and tuition can die ah.... sch reopen le.... so the very happy cos too slack and sianzzz at home liao.... so no life lor.... was out with mei yesterdae...... was at je ha ha ..... she looks tired.... as expected ha ha ..... peggy de bro got his gf pregnant.... oh my goodness.... going for abortion in few hours time... may the baby be happy in the arms of god.... AH~~~ My baby called me from aust today.... actually not todae only la lol... he told me.. " boi i going back to sg during cny need me bring anything back ma... " then i told him " ya bring back truckloads of sweets for me haha..." so sisters get ready for sweet tooth party when alan is back.... but baby been sick these few days... having severe headache... poor thing... take care k.... waiting for him come out of shower so long...... nvm go watch show first see ya guys...

lost_fantasy

2006-09-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

Im gone for so long and now im back wa ha ha ha ha........ kept pestered to update blog lol.... so todae free come update... wat have i been doing all these while leh.... hmmm.... work work and work... cashier and teach tuition haha..... enough to occupy my holidays.... yeah~~ i passed my second yr first sem... promised to worker harder for second sem.... must get GPA 3.0...... sound impossible for a slacker like me but i will make it possible... the new alvin will chiong studies when sch reopen next week.. Ganbade... will prove to all lecturers and classsmates that i can do it de... haha... so high... going to malaysia next month 2D1N for relaxation...... not skipping class cos going on weekend haha.... ok go watch show liao... will be back...

Sae Hi to DPFM2A/21 on 25th Sept 2006...

lost_fantasy

2006-08-06T00:54:00.000+08:00

just came back from fireworks display at esplanade there..... so nice to see the fireworks..... but something happen to sw mei then caused the whole situation to be so awkward..... details dun find out from me... haha..... but nvm this kind of things let her settle herself.... looking at the fireworks let me realised something... fireworks r like r/s.... they may look very beautiful when shoot up into the sky but to prepare such a beautiful display takes time and effort just like working out a r/s.... they maybe very nice to see but they may disappear any moment.... just like me and sasuke.... he may be MIA for 9 days to date butwhether he still want me or not i kan kai le.... but wont hate him or watever cos it is his choice but wherever he may be i shall pray for him.... need to wait for him to ocme back b4 settling out things but i hope tt it is not wat i predicted it to be... but im prepared for the worst....

lost_fantasy

2006-07-28T00:51:00.000+08:00

heh yo guys im back here....... yaya again lol..... yuqi jie jie sae i long time no update lol.... so now got time so come update since tml CT cancelled due to miss yong sick mc..... so todae went to meet ambrose and for those who dunno is my dear de fren...... we went shopping..... and ambrose bought five CK de briefs which cost him $185 haha... so ex sia...... then went to my work place de bar drink haha... got the feel so go lor..... now just come back not long..... todae got gems test haha..... my god.... wont sae easy or difficult la lol.... can pass can le....yesterdae got cut on the lips by the door keep bleeding like hell haha.... scared the hell out of me.... Dear and ambrose ask me go hospital haha.. but in the end ask doc ocme my house haha... the blood can be enough to donate one packet lol.. but now ok le.... haha.. i recently got addicted to this song by Mariah Carey and 98Degrees..... 'Thank GOD I Found You'..... i like the lyrics of the song and the music overall sounds pleasing to ear haha.... and i think one of the sentence in the lyrics fit my feeling towards my dear a lot lol....

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with graditude
'Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

lost_fantasy

2006-07-23T14:16:00.000+08:00

Long time nv update entry already haha.... hmm... have been working so no choice haha.... no choice no work no money haha.... but ok lah work there find it very fufilling and can learn a lot of social ettiques.... me miss my dear very much.... then tues on msn toking ot dear frens haha... they very funny lol... but got a lot of insider info from them haha..... dunno when he will be back again haha.... todae supposed to meet dear de fren ambrose but then haven finish my hw so cannot go haha... sorry dear although promise u go out with ambrose cos u said got things ask ambrose pass to me haha.... in the end nv go haha.... next time then meet ambrose ba... haha.... me also bought a new laptop two days ago haha.... NEC de laptop... wow... haha... $1799.... ex sia... but nvm like it can le.... haha.... okiezz gtg liao.... will update again....

Thank GOD i found U... And I will always love U........

lost_fantasy

2006-07-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

todae is our one month but in half hours time it will be over haha..... congrats to both of us haha.... happy one month anniversary........ cool babe......we have passed our first hurdle now next one is one yr then 10 then 100..... wa ha ha ha... crazy..... but dear not here for one month sad sad haha...... now still doing project for crs... my god.... too slack this sem le... must buck up man.... next sem must be top student and aim is not to get any warning letters haha... hope this sem can pass can liaozzz... haha.... heh isn't tt my aim can pass can liao.. lol.... got to do crs liao... dun talk le.... nite nite....... muacks dear...

lost_fantasy

2006-07-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

todae is sian de lor haha... so many projects to do... CP,CT,PM1,PMM... AH.... stressed haha.... but ok lah..... todae i feel so outcast man haha... cos hui xian and kwee ann and chun jie went for a/cs wearing black then only me wearing blue.... wanted to wear the black choir tee todae but then me feel hot todae so wear blue..... diao then measurements benson and tracy also came in black... WAH.... feel so extra lor.... then walking to MRT station tt time lydia went off first then left KA,HX,Benson,CJ and tracy all in black but me in blue... then HX sae something tt i nv take to heart... "heh alvin we all wearing black todae except for u." AH..... make me dun belong to the group... haha.... feel so detached from them sia.. but cant blame them lah cos me pon class for few times then ok lah me always a loner so nvm haha... heh guys dun take it to heart as i am not shooting u all..... haha..... hmmm.... time for reflection am i really tt out spoken? not sociable? disliked by ppl? haizz..... i dun even noe man haha.... can kind souls out there tell me wat i am cos i really dunno.... if got things just se in front of me and not behind my back cos i dun like it.... i dun like to hear things abt me from other ppl besides the one tt spread it.... so tired now man.... got to end here....

lost_fantasy

2006-07-10T21:01:00.000+08:00

Shack dae man..... went for a stupid site visit and got me so tired haha... now still msn with dear.... eyes wanna close le.... but still online chatting with dear.... now i really tired of ppl ard me cos finally see the real faces of all my frens and how they view me..... wish i could be gone from this world and be closed up in a tiny room away from human...... sianzz already..... where is the one i love when i need u.... where will u be when i am crying alone.... guess i wont even noe who i realy am....

To wait for the one u love is PATIENCE
To trust in the one u love is FAITH
To cry for the one u love is LOVE
To break up with the one u love is COURAGE

lost_fantasy

2006-07-10T11:15:00.000+08:00

wa ha ha ha ha..... crap lol..... early in the morning in crs class nothing to do so just add entry lor.... yesterdae went to k box with jie jie(caresah) and then went to take neoprints haha.... she tues fly to aussie liaozz.... sad sad one less crap partner..... me and dear msn for three hours yesterdae sia... eyes pain pain but crapped with him for all the time lol......

2006-07-04T22:01:00.000+08:00

Heh guys out there.... haizz me so long never update blog already haha..... me still as usual la..... heh dear next sun one month anniversary le orh but u still not in singapore ba haha.... haizzzz 2-3 weeks then come back..... haha..... remember my sweets ok...... ok guys its getting mushy ard here lol..... dun mind la ah..... heh me last sat went to pierce my ear haha..... first ear stud of my life lol..... yuan ting sae painful ba cos my ear lobe thick then maybe also stuck so scared sia lol.... but in the end few sec done liao... haha.... no pain one and somemore no stuck..... then me went for check up and it was a stupid doc who said i have stomach infection and will die early lol..... lame doc man.... haha... not convenient to sae where is the doc haha.... sun went out with suwen,lijing and jia min haha my good sisters..... so crazy man and so 38 lol.... tired liaozzz want go orh orh haha.... will update again.... take care guys...

lost_fantasy

2006-06-27T18:03:00.000+08:00

It is true to sae tt when u dun meet ur loved one for a certain time and meet them again you will make ur heart fonder. One live example over here haha.... heh my dear when u coming back from Japan man haha.... tell me few months like that then come back. *bish... make me wait so long haha..... for ppl out there who noe tt person is then good for u if dunno then too bad haha.... But affairs of heart is so difficult to understand as in some ppl need to noe each other for a long time before they will feel some chemistry between them but some can fal in love when they first meet. Which is y this is wat we mean by fated.... if u dun love a person no matter how u try to get along u will also break up eventually..... i have seen many couples like these which is y one word of advice to u all out there..... Be careful of who u choose to be ur life partner.......

lost_fantasy

2006-06-25T11:59:00.000+08:00

On such a rainy day it suits my mood todae....... Y did it have to end like tt? I dun think i have done anything wrong but y do u treat me like tt? feel so down feel so sad after wat u did yesterdae.... no mood to carry on writing.... guys out there treasure the times u have with ur loved ones.....

lost_fantasy

2006-06-18T19:14:00.000+08:00

So many days haven update blog le.... even my mei also sae haha but no choice leh wat to do working everyday then reach home shag liao no time to add entry... but to sumarise wat i did within these few days... Started new job at bar and also quitted officially prime le... so happy haha..... so many things have happened within these days... the need to find a support is a pressing issue to me... haha... so stressed out.... feel as if all energy have been drained out from me.... need a break man.... so many things have been revolving my mind, so many unsolved issues...Urghhh........ cannot take it le...... y am i working so hard for?? how i wish i could noe...

GOD have been kind to bless me with a good bunch of frens and i thank thee for thy kindness... Amen

lost_fantasy

2006-06-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

Todae went with karen , selina , chun jie , benson , dj , miss yong and me to orchard cineleisure de k box..... Yeah celebrate b'dae for karen.... happy b'dae karen..... everyone sing until so high lol..... but more surprising is miss yong haha.... she sing nice nice wor.... she noe S.H.E. , sun yan zi, yang chen ling etc. de songs sia.... so hip lolzz.... me finally todae sing on form le...... cool man.... did a short reading for karen and one long one for miss yong..... haha... after k karen tired so just went home lor.... but something bad happen on the way back on train.... me in a daze then my conscious self act up again... shucks... heh karen, selina, cj and dj sorry for acting so guai pi just now...... just cannot change back so easily lor.... then saw billy on train haha.... been thinking if my conscious really surface for good, the cheerful me will be gone maybe forever?? then ppl will hate me for being AP haha..... but in the meantime just be happy and carry on living man.... haha.... wats meant to happen will have to happen eventually.... heh ppl and dun think me going bonks cos its true lolzz....

Seeking my true one......
lost_fantasy

2006-06-01T19:26:00.000+08:00

Hoi me gana shoot sae my blog entries so depressing de..... Diaozz.... Told ya guys tt this is real me le ah morh.... This is the place where u will see another me.... But if u have a chance just see me when im alone ba.... u will noe the difference between the alvin u hanging out with and the alvin tt u haven seen... but nvm for once just write abt something new ba...... hmmm.... YES!!! Tomolo last paper le then can go buy contact lens le..... Should buy purple or brown?? they sae purple very fierce looking haha.... hmm... can consider tt... k la me want go bathe le.... see ya

lost_fantasy

2006-05-28T20:06:00.000+08:00

Just advised my mei on her r/s prob todae.... finally pull her out of her sadness and uneasiness of her r/s.... psychic visions can also consult ppl on r/s prob my god ha ha.... mei jia you orh got prob can tok to me again... but now back to me again haha.... can advice ppl on their r/s prob but mine too complicated liao.... even experts cant solve it man..... haiz seeing them in pairs makes my heart so sour.......

lost_fantasy

2006-05-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

now wat time le still haven sleep ah me..... 1.06am le y cannot sleep leh?? cos on msn with my mei and jie lol.... finally got out my deepest secret todae....(few ppl noe tt only...) so relieved but the scar will always be there..... y does fate like to play me out ?? Damn sad damn sian...... y can't i even cry out loud like normal ppl?? y do i have to carry so much emotional burden for two person?? y can't i be doing normal stuff like wat ppl of my age is doing?? so many questions in my heart but who can i sae to?? to sae the truth no one... cos i trust no one noe more... i really need someone to depend on to lie onto.... where in this world can tt someone be??? i fell like crying so down now....... God where ever u r hear my sorrows i dun ask for much just one hr for me to cry and let out my frustrations and emotions.... after tt let me sleep and the next day will be as beautiful...

lost_fantasy

First run of my blog after so long......

2006-05-27T00:33:00.002+08:00

heh ppl out there...... After so many months my blog is out finally...... Lol..... so exciting lol.... ppl long ago started blogging liao me now then start haiz..... feel free to link me ba... this blog shall be the one and only place whereby u can see the real me...... i may appear to be very cheerful in front of ppl but actual truth i am quite a quiet and introvert person.... for those who noe me well will be laughing their guts out but true in front of ppl i may be sociable and friendly.... BUT when i am alone i think a lot... If i really put my real self out to face ppl i can tell u ppl will shun me away like ghost cos my real self is very 'ap' and very very hot temper.... wont tok much and will get irritared easily... therefore when i hang out with frens i will try to be cheerful and crap with ppl..... Maybe it is becos of myself dabbling with tarot which made me a more matured person than wat ppl of my age will be thinking.... which is y i dun really click much with ppl of my age.... However i feel very sick and tired of the psychic energy tt i possess.... I have to see so many people's emotions and i have to be strong even though me myself is sad...And to sae the truth i haven cried for many years, not matter how sad a thing may be i just can't cry out loud like most ppl.... not tt i dun want to cry but it is tt i just can't even let out one drop of tear... u noe how hard it is to not cry even though u are so sad or emotional... Some ppl even take us psychics as freaks.... Im so tired..... really really very tired........

lost fantasy

My first entry...

2006-05-27T00:33:00.001+08:00

Finally after many difficulties my blog is ready to face the world lol..... Thanks mei su wen......